not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
