My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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