...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
