it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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