I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
