She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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