Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
