Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
