I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
