Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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