i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
