let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
