batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
