At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
