Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
