I just saw a hot homeless man
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
