He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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