haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
