I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
