We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize