i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We talked him into tasing himself.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
