I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
