After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
