There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize