he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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