Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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