Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
