and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
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TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
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I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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