He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
