watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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