Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Randomize
