I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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