Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
