How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize