also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
