Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
