Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
