i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
my liver is dry heaving
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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