Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This is my gift to your gina
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
