IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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