The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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