RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
