if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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