ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
two words: eviction party
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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