Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
