Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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