You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think we might need a safe word for this...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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