i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
not ubering you a puppy
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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