you guys were way drunker than both of me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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