doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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