Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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