Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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