if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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