I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
