Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
