I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
