there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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