Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
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