I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I can't turn off my feet"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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